Why I created Birth Without Fear

I am so happy you’re here! Since I was a teenager I knew I was going to have my babies in the water at home. I really didn’t know all the facts but I just knew that is what I wanted. When I found out I was pregnant at 19, I knew I wouldn’t have the money and just told myself I’ll birth in the water with my other children. I explored birth centers and midwives. But I knew there was no way I could spend 6-10k on the birth I wanted, when it could be free with Medicaid. I planned an all natural hospital birth and continued with ob care. I didn’t like it but I had to do what I had to do. Then I met Mariah who had a home birth recently and she made me want it even more. She recommended a midwife, but when I saw it was 7k I again said I couldn’t do it. Once I saw that number I didn’t respond to her, it wasn’t until weeks later that I saw her email again, and thought I’m rude I should tell her why I didn’t respond. So I did, she told me she could work with me and we set up a time to meet. She told me she could give me a discounted birth and so I transferred care. Said goodbye to my ob care and hello to midwife care. Which was soo insanely different. I’ll talk about the differences in another blog post. Let’s skip ahead. A couple months later I had my beautiful baby girl at home in the water like I imagined. It was the most life changing experience I’ve ever had. Also go check for a blog post on that! Rewind a little bit, a week before my baby was born I attended a hospital birth that at first seemed like it was going to be good. I arrived to mama pushing with only the midwife and husband in the room. But as usual once baby was crowning there was way too many people in the room. Once the head was almost out the doctor said she only had one more push the midwife grabbed the baby by their head and pulled him out of mama extremely forcefully. This was traumatizing and made me so thankful I was going to have a home birth. Later I decided that I would give hospital birth another chance. And took on a photography client in the hospital. So 4 months after my birth, I went to this hospital birth. That went even worse than the original one I saw. Mom got an epidural labored on her back. Towards the end of pushing the doctor said the baby had shoulder dystocia, said to mom “if your pushing then stop”, pulled her legs all the way to her boobs. Then grabbed the head of baby twisting him out. Next, 2 doctors proceeded to reach their hands deep inside her and pull baby out. Baby came out limp, they cut the cord because baby wasn’t breathing and mom didn’t hold the baby for 30 minutes after birth! After this birth I knew I needed to do whatever possible to make a change. Part of me wants to go become a doctor so I can help give moms beautiful births even in the hospital. But that’s currently not in the cards. So I’m doing what I can to make a change now. God put this on my heart as what I need to do so I’m running with it. I’m not perfect, there was probably plenty of grammar issues in this paragraph. But I appreciate your support and want to help everyone learn! I created this because EVERY mom deserves more than the births the hospital gives them. I want all the knowledge to be in one attainable spot.